To Go Grey or to Not Go Grey?

This episode of All of It explores the complex personal, cultural, and professional implications of going gray, sparked by a New York Times reader’s question about embracing natural gray hair after decades of dyeing. Host Alison Stewart interviews New York Times chief fashion critic Vanessa Friedman, who unpacks how gray hair functions as a societal symbol of aging—particularly for women, who face disproportionate pressure to appear youthful. The conversation delves into gendered beauty standards, workplace bias, and the emotional weight of hair color choices, illustrated through candid calls from listeners like Ginny, who returned to dyeing after being passed over in a job interview at 60, and Beth, who embraced her gray hair during the pandemic and now receives constant compliments. The episode reveals a paradox: while gray hair can signal wisdom and authority, especially in men, women often face discrimination or assumptions of obsolescence when they go gray. Yet, many find liberation, confidence, and authenticity in the choice. The discussion also touches on how the pandemic created rare, low-pressure windows for natural transitions, and how style, not just color, shapes perceptions of age. Ultimately, the episode champions self-acceptance and personal agency in navigating identity through appearance.