The Most Important Question to Ask Your Kids Before Bed

In this heartfelt bonus episode of Chasing Excellence, host Ben reflects on a pivotal conversation with mindset coach Mark England from a year prior, focusing on the pervasive 'telephobia'—the fear of not being good enough—that often gets passed down from parents to children. Mark shares two powerful tools to break this cycle: a daily 'wins journal' where kids write one full sentence about something they did well, and a language shift using softer, more open-ended words like 'possibly,' 'maybe,' and 'could' to reduce rigidity in self-talk. Inspired by these ideas, Ben reveals his new children's book, *What's a Win I Won Today?*, a rhyming, read-aloud story designed to help kids recognize and celebrate their daily achievements. The episode emphasizes how small, consistent practices can rewire self-perception, foster emotional resilience, and create meaningful family conversations about self-worth. Ben urges listeners to adopt these habits—not just for their kids, but for themselves—highlighting the transformative power of gratitude, self-compassion, and intentional language. Key takeaways include: 1) Replace the habit of focusing on what went wrong with a daily ritual of identifying what went right; 2) Use a simple wins journal to train children (and adults) to see themselves as good enough; 3) Gamify language change by posting soft language words on the fridge to reduce self-criticism; 4) Use children's books as a bridge to discuss deep emotional topics like self-worth and mindset; 5) Small, consistent practices build psychological immunity over time; 6) The story you tell yourself shapes your reality—choose it wisely; 7) Language is an inheritance; consciously improve it to uplift future generations; 8) The most powerful conversations often start not with direct talk, but with shared stories.