BITESIZE | A Monk’s Guide to Finding Happiness (Even When Things Don’t Go Your Way) | Haemin Sunim #649
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In this Bite Size episode of Feel Better, Live More, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee explores profound wisdom from Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim on finding happiness even when life doesn't go as planned. Drawing from Haemin Sunim’s book *When Things Don't Go Your Way*, the conversation centers on the transformative power of 'don't know mind'—a Zen practice of embracing uncertainty and openness rather than clinging to expectations. The monk illustrates how perceived setbacks, like a failed book or an unplanned wedding, can lead to unexpected joys, such as meaningful relationships or deeper personal growth. He emphasizes that true happiness isn't found in external achievements but in the present moment, through mindfulness, gratitude, and the recognition of impermanence. Practical tools like 'Starting With Zero'—treating loved ones as if meeting them for the first time—help rekindle curiosity and connection in long-term relationships.
Practice 'don't know mind' to stay open to unexpected opportunities when things don’t go your way.
Happiness is not conditional on external outcomes; it arises from presence, gratitude, and acceptance.
Use the 'Starting With Zero' exercise to reawaken curiosity and connection in long-term relationships.
Small, certain joys—like the smell of coffee or sunlight on your skin—are powerful sources of lasting happiness.
Impermanence is not a threat but a gift: emotions and experiences pass, and awareness of that frees you from suffering.
Sponsor: Heights & Thrive Supplement
Dr. Chatterjee introduces the episode's sponsor, Heights, a UK-based longevity brand, promoting their science-backed supplement Thrive. He shares his personal experience with the product and offers listeners an exclusive 20% discount using code 'livemore' at height.com/forwardslashlivemore.
The Power of 'Don't Know Mind'
“You don't know whether it's going to bring me more opportunity or happiness or we don't know whether it's going to bring disappointments. Whatever that is, if we can just bring this mind of openness and appreciation, then we'll feel at the end our life is actually full.”
When Setbacks Become Blessings
“Imagine that, you know, you know what kind of happiness you want to have. But in the end, you know, the universe may award you a different type of happiness and still valid and still wonderful.”
Applying 'Don't Know Mind' to Daily Life
“Rather than tightly trying to control everything and then everything have to go like the way I want it. And screaming like a little kid, if it doesn't, that's not going to make you happy.”
Cultivating Presence & Small But Certain Happiness
“Our true nature is peace. That is, if we can just relax and enjoy the moment when there's no more thought. And yet you are aware that there's no more thought.”
“Our true nature is peace. That is, if we can just relax and enjoy the moment when there's no more thought. And yet you are aware that there's no more thought.”
“When the thought finishes, that's where the silence is.”
“You don't know whether it's going to bring me more opportunity or happiness or we don't know whether it's going to bring disappointments. Whatever that is, if we can just bring this mind of openness and appreciation, then we'll feel at the end our life is actually full.”
Host
Guest
Haemin Sunim
person
Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
person
Heights
brand
When Things Don't Go Your Way
book
Thrive
product
Starting With Zero
other
Discovering the True Self
book
UK
place
Sunday Times
other
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