573 - Is the Non-Monogamy in Vicky Cristina Barcelona Realistic? Film Critique with Love Factually

In this deep-dive episode of Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships, hosts Jace, Emily, and Dedeker welcome relationship scientists Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick from the Love Factually podcast to critically examine the 2008 film *Vicky Cristina Barcelona*. The discussion explores the film’s portrayal of non-monogamy through both scientific and narrative lenses, dissecting the dynamics between the three central characters—Vicky, Christina, and Juan Antonio—as well as the volatile presence of Maria Elena. The hosts and guests analyze the film’s romantic tropes, the realism of its non-monogamous relationships, and the psychological underpinnings of New Relationship Energy (NRE), jealousy, and compersion. They question whether the film accurately reflects real-life polyamory, noting its reliance on dramatic, chaotic, and often unrealistic portrayals. Despite the film’s problematic gender roles and narrative inconsistencies, the guests appreciate its emotional complexity, especially Penelope Cruz’s performance, and its refusal to offer easy answers. The episode concludes with a lively debate over the film’s rating, with Dedeker ultimately giving it five stars for its nuanced, if flawed, exploration of love’s messiness. Key takeaways include: 1) Non-monogamy in film is rarely realistic—most depictions lean into drama and fantasy rather than sustainable, ethical relationships; 2) The idea that a 'missing piece' can fix a relationship is a myth; triads and quads are rare and complex, not magical solutions; 3) New Relationship Energy (NRE) is powerful but dangerous—people should avoid major life decisions during NRE; 4) Jealousy and compersion coexist in polyamory, and this emotional duality is more realistic than monogamous jealousy alone; 5) The film’s narrator undermines its emotional depth, and removing it would have improved the experience. The episode underscores the importance of critical engagement with media portrayals of relationships, especially when they shape public understanding of non-monogamy.