Parenting: Job abroad keeping me disconnected from my kids
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This episode of *Parenting on Moncrieff* tackles several complex parenting challenges, beginning with a parent struggling to connect with her 10-year-old daughter who repeatedly ignores requests and misuses her mother’s Jo Malone perfume. Joanna Fortune suggests that inconsistent boundaries and emotional frustration may be undermining the child’s ability to internalize rules, urging the parent to set firmer, clearer limits while acknowledging the family’s recent grief and the child’s possible emotional needs. The discussion then shifts to a parent concerned about their seven-year-old being sidelined by older cousins due to a large age gap, with Fortune advising against expecting teenage cousins to play with a young child and instead recommending inclusive, team-based family activities. A third caller shares anxiety about being abroad for work, missing key moments with their young children. Fortune offers practical, creative solutions like structured video calls with games, personalized weekly calendars with encouraging notes, and 'time tokens' for quality one-on-one time. The episode concludes with concerns about a 15-year-old’s coffee habit, which Fortune frames as a social signal of maturity rather than a love for coffee, urging parents to address caffeine intake and suggest decaf or herbal alternatives to preserve well-being. Throughout, the emphasis is on consistency, emotional honesty, and creative connection.
Set firm, consistent boundaries with clear consequences—children need predictability to internalize rules.
Reframe video calls with young children as play-based activities (e.g., I Spy, shared reading) rather than open-ended chats.
Use tangible tools like weekly calendars with notes and 'time tokens' to maintain emotional connection during parental absence.
Recognize that older siblings’ disengagement may stem from developmental differences, not neglect—design inclusive family activities instead.
Address teen behaviors like coffee drinking not as rebellion but as social mimicry, and gently guide toward healthier alternatives like decaf or herbal tea.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
The 10-Year-Old Who Ignores Boundaries
“You're gentle about it. How big a deal is it then?”
The Seven-Year-Old Left Out by Older Cousins
A parent worries about their young son being excluded by his older cousins due to a significant age gap. Joanna Fortune reframes the expectation, noting that teenagers naturally gravitate toward peers and aren't likely to play with a much younger child. Instead, she recommends structuring family gatherings around inclusive, team-based games to foster connection without forcing unnatural interactions.
Parenting from Afar: Staying Connected Across the Globe
“You're doing well to get a couple of nuggets of news over a dinner table where you're looking at them, never mind on the phone.”
The Nine-Year-Old Obsessed with 'Healthy' Food
A mother expresses concern that her daughter is fixating on food healthiness, possibly influenced by school meals and adult conversations. Joanna Fortune advises normalizing healthy bodies through function—'your body is able to jump and skip'—rather than appearance, and urges parents to monitor their own language around food.
The 15-Year-Old and Her Coffee Habit
“It's probably not even about the coffee. It's about, you know, having the coffee cup.”
“It's probably not even about the coffee. It's about, you know, having the coffee cup.”
“You're gentle about it. How big a deal is it then?”
“We're never too old for time tokens.”
Host
Guest
Joanna Fortune
person
Fnuala Moncrieff
person
Jo Malone
brand
Stanley water bottle
brand
Newstalk
media
Cucumber
other
Oat milk
other
Decaf
other
Herbal tea
other
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