Marty E - Step 9 - Meeting 424
Get the full intelligence
Search transcripts, export clips, track mentions, and explore all topics from “Marty E - Step 9 - Meeting 424” inside PodZeus.
In this powerful episode of Rico 12 Speaker Meeting 424, Marty E. delivers a deeply personal and transformative talk on Step 9 of the 12-step recovery process: making direct amends to those we have harmed. Drawing from his own journey as a recovering sex and lust addict, Marty shares profound stories of amends made to a family friend he accidentally shot during a hunting trip and to his mother, with whom he endured a traumatic, covertly abusive relationship. He emphasizes that true amends require more than saying 'I'm sorry'—they demand humility, honesty, and the courage to face the full impact of one’s actions. Marty introduces the life-changing definition of forgiveness as 'choosing to carry the weight of another’s wrong without asking them to pay,' and shares a personal prayer that helped him release the need for retribution. He also discusses the importance of living amends—ongoing, daily actions that reflect changed behavior—and how recovery is not about perfection but about progress, surrender, and spiritual growth. The episode closes with a moving reflection on the spiritual war against pornography and the transformative power of love over lust.
True amends require more than a simple apology—they demand honesty, humility, and a willingness to face the full impact of your actions.
Forgiveness is not about the other person’s response; it’s about releasing your need for them to pay or admit guilt.
Living amends are ongoing actions that reflect your changed behavior and are essential to healing relationships.
Surrendering control of outcomes to a higher power frees you from carrying the burden of past harms.
Your spouse is not responsible for your temptations—those belong to your sponsor and your recovery fellowship.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
Welcome & Introduction to Step 9
Justin B. welcomes listeners to Rico 12 Speaker Meeting 424, introduces the 12-week series on the 12 Steps, and welcomes first-time speaker Marty E. He provides context about the podcast’s mission, resources, and recent return of the Big Book Roundtable. He sets the stage for Marty’s deep dive into Step 9.
The Weight of Regret and the Birth of True Amends
“I was always full of regret. But, you know, well, I said I'm sorry. Why are you still upset?”
The Hunting Accident: A Life-Changing Amends
“You've been carrying that around all this time. And I just broke down in tears.”
Healing Family Wounds: Amends with His Mother
“I release the right to prove my hurt. I release the right to have you pay for what you did.”
Living Amends and the Power of Surrender
Marty explains the difference between direct amends and living amends—ongoing actions that reflect recovery. He shares how he now maintains regular contact with his mother, helps with her care, and works to rebuild trust. He acknowledges that some relationships, like with his father, remain broken, but emphasizes that recovery is a journey, not a destination. He uses the metaphor of Aslan carrying the child to illustrate surrender to a higher power.
“Forgiveness is choosing to carry the weight of another's wrong without asking them to pay.”
“You've been carrying that around all this time. And I just broke down in tears.”
“Porn is the problem. It sells a fake cure, turns humans to products, makes touch feel impure.”
Host
Guest
Rico 12
organization
Justin B.
person
Big Book
book
Marty E.
person
Dean
person
Nikki M.
person
Rico 12 Big Book Roundtable
media
Aslan
other
David G.
person
Noodle It Out with Nicky M
media
Get the full intelligence
Search transcripts, export clips, track mentions, and explore all topics from “Marty E - Step 9 - Meeting 424” inside PodZeus.
Start discovering podcast insights today
Start with a 7-day trial and explore a growing catalog of popular podcasts. No credit card required.
No credit card required • 7-day trial • Cancel anytime