Kidnapping Dolphins are News AF – March 31, 2026

In this episode of Rob Has a Podcast, Rob Sestrino and guests Tyson Apostle and Danny Bryson dive into a whirlwind of absurd and satirical news stories from March 31, 2026. The episode opens with Tyson recounting a bizarre encounter with a territorial chuckwalla lizard that charged his van and scrambled through his garage and house—prompting jokes about mating season and 'body-positive lizards.' The hosts then tackle the viral hoax of a man claiming he was kidnapped by dolphins, forced into slave labor, and saved while drawing blueprints in the sand. The story, originally a satirical post from the 'Dude Humor Report,' prompted a real response from Florida law enforcement, highlighting how easily fake news spreads. Other stories include a fake rumor about Shaq asking Sabrina Carpenter for bottled farts as perfume, a $500,000 Kit Kat heist involving 12 tons of candy, and a woman who allegedly peed on Airbnb furniture to create adult content. The hosts also discuss the rise of AI-generated music, with an AI artist topping the iTunes charts, sparking concern about authenticity and the future of human creativity. They debate the need for a 'certified human' music label and reflect on how AI is reshaping art, entertainment, and even travel with features like United Airlines' 'Relax Row'—a luxury economy row turned into a bed. The episode closes with a humorous, AI-generated thumbnail concept blending all the week’s stories into a chaotic, surreal image.