254. how to help someone who doesn’t want help (without making it worse)

This episode of 'She Persisted' tackles the emotional complexity of supporting someone who is struggling with depression and anxiety but doesn’t want help. The host, Sadie, shares her personal story of being suicidally depressed at 14 and how her parents’ well-intentioned but misguided attempts to 'fix' her—like blasting loud music to wake her up or lecturing about future consequences—only increased her sense of isolation and overwhelm. She explains that when someone is in a state of hopelessness, even love and support can feel like pressure, because they’re already emotionally exhausted and feel powerless. The turning point came when her father learned Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills, particularly validation, and began asking her to rate her mental state on a scale of 1 to 10 during routine check-ins. This simple, consistent practice allowed her to feel seen and understood without having to articulate her pain in full. The episode emphasizes that true support isn’t about solving problems but about validating emotions, reducing pressure, and building safety through consistent presence. The host stresses that it’s not your job to pull someone out of crisis—your job is to make sure they don’t feel alone in it.