Vault: Can The Bert Show find him a date?

The Bert Show dives into a bizarre and seemingly implausible dating story from a listener named Jesse, who claims he asked out a woman he perceived as a '15' (on a 1-10 attractiveness scale) and ended the date by saying they should just be friends—right at the end, without any physical or romantic escalation. Host Bert and co-hosts question the realism of this narrative, especially the idea that a man could be so honest and self-aware on a first date, but are intrigued by the photo evidence that shows Jesse and the woman are actually on a similar attractiveness level. The episode turns into a playful yet insightful exploration of self-perception, dating dynamics, and the myth of the 'nice guy.' Bert challenges Jesse’s self-image as a 'four,' declaring he’s actually a six-plus, and jokes about giving him a 'bouche-over' makeover. The conversation shifts to deeper questions about what women really want—personality over looks, honesty over charm—and ends with a commitment to create a public dating profile for Jesse, complete with a fake eHarmony application. The episode closes with a controversial email warning women not to date Christian men, sparking a debate about religious dating stereotypes.