Surviving my daughter's killing

This powerful episode of BBC's 'Dear Daughter' podcast features Kate, a mother who shares her harrowing journey after her 19-year-old daughter Anne was fatally shot by her boyfriend, Connor, during a heated argument. Despite the unimaginable loss, Kate made the radical decision to forgive Connor, not as a pardon for his actions, but as a path to peace and healing for herself and her family. Through restorative justice, Kate and her husband Andy met with Connor in a five-hour circle where they shared their grief, explained the depth of their loss, and helped shape a sentence that included anger management, public advocacy on teen dating violence, and community service. The process transformed their pain into purpose, turning Anne’s legacy from a wildlife refuge she dreamed of into a movement for healing and accountability. Kate reflects on forgiveness not as forgetting, but as releasing the burden of vengeance and reclaiming her daughter’s identity beyond her death.