Courageous Conversations: Why We Struggle to Ask for What We Want (and How to Change It) with Attia Qureshi

In this powerful episode of Typology, host Ian Krohn sits down with Atiyah Qureshi, founder of AQ Consulting and author of the new book *Never Settle: Persuasion and Negotiation Skills to Get What You Want*. The conversation dives deep into the emotional and psychological barriers that prevent people from asking for what they want, exploring how childhood trauma, personality types, and unconscious motivations shape our negotiation styles. Atiyah shares her personal journey—from being bullied as a child and developing a hardened, positional negotiation style as a defense mechanism, to evolving into a more empathetic, relationship-driven negotiator after learning strategic empathy from her MIT professor. The discussion reveals how Enneagram types influence negotiation behavior: threes are driven by image and achievement, eights by control and strength, while twos, sevens, and nines often avoid conflict. Atiyah emphasizes that negotiation isn’t just about deals—it’s a daily practice of influence, from asking for help to setting boundaries. She offers practical tools like labeling emotions, managing stress, and using the Enneagram to adapt communication styles to others. The episode culminates in a reflective conversation about vulnerability, trust, and the inner child’s fear of abandonment that still shapes adult decisions. Ultimately, the message is clear: self-awareness, emotional regulation, and understanding others’ types are the keys to becoming a more effective, compassionate negotiator.