Is She A Classic Avoidant Or Did I Chase Her Away?
The guest’s email reveals a classic case of over-pursuit masked as 'dating a successful woman'—but the real issue isn't her attachment style, it's his behavior. Corey Wayne dismantles the myth that 'avoidant' women are inherently unlovable, arguing instead that any woman will pull away when a man displays insecurity, neediness, or a lack of self-worth. The man’s pattern—over-messaging, chasing after rejection, seeking approval, and tolerating disrespect—wasn’t about her success, but about him needing validation. When she said 'you’re not stable enough,' it wasn’t a fact—it was a psychological test. His response? To double down on pursuit, proving he wasn’t the alpha. Wayne makes a bold claim: women don’t want to be with men who need them to feel whole. They want men who are already whole—confident, indifferent, and self-contained. The moment he stopped chasing, she returned with a better attitude. The lesson? Attraction isn’t about matching her success—it’s about being so self-assured that her success becomes irrelevant. You don’t win women by proving yourself; you win them by not needing to. The most powerful takeaway? The man wasn’t chasing a woman—he was chasing a version of himself he thought he needed to become. But real confidence isn’t built through achievement—it’s built through restraint. By refusing to respond to her emotional manipulation, by letting her miss him, by not apologizing for her perception, he regained power.
If you’re chasing a woman, you’re already losing—her rejection isn’t about her attachment style, it’s about your behavior.
Women don’t want a man who needs their approval; they want a man who’s already whole and doesn’t need them to feel complete.
Every time she canceled, ignored, or condescended, he rewarded her with more pursuit—this is how you train a woman to disrespect you.
The moment he stopped chasing, she came back with a better attitude—proof that indifference is the most powerful form of attraction.
You don’t prove your worth through effort; you prove it through restraint. The less you need her, the more she’ll want you.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
The Real Problem: Not Her, But His Behavior
“If you're chasing a woman for attention and validation, and she's kind of running away like you're going to see in this email, then whether she's an avoidant or not, it doesn't really matter because he's displaying too much unattractive behavior and turning her off.”
The Myth of the 'Stable' Man
The man believed she needed him to be more successful before she’d commit. Corey debunks this, revealing that her 'logic' was a cover for emotional distance. Her real issue wasn’t his business—it was his neediness.
The Test: When She Says 'It’s Moving Too Fast'
“When a woman says that hey it's moving too fast it's usually because you're going at a faster pace than she is.”
The Cost of Being a Doormat
“If you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. That's just the way it is.”
The Power of Radio Silence
“When she disrespects you, you give her the gift of missing you and she has to work to earn your attention.”
“So when she disrespects you, you give her the gift of missing you and she has to work to earn your attention.”
“If you're chasing a woman for attention and validation, and she's kind of running away like you're going to see in this email, then whether she's an avoidant or not, it doesn't really matter because he's displaying too much unattractive behavior and turning her off.”
“If you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. That's just the way it is.”
Host
Guest
Coach Corey Wayne
person
Understanding Relationships
product
3% Man
book
Seven Principles to Get an Ex Back
book
Mastering Yourself
book
Ruminations and Contemplations
book
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