What Men Are Thinking When They’re Dating feat. Niko Emanuilidis
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In this candid and insightful episode of *Girls Gotta Eat*, hosts Ashley Hess and Raina Greenberg welcome back dating expert Nico Emanuilidis, the voice behind The Daddy Academy, to unpack the psychology and behaviors behind modern dating. The conversation dives deep into how men think during the early stages of dating, emphasizing that men often 'vet backwards'—initially driven by lust and excitement, then later assessing compatibility based on emotional connection and long-term potential. Nico shares his framework for navigating the first 12 weeks of dating, breaking it into four phases: initial connection (dates 1–3), building intimacy (dates 4–6), deepening vulnerability (dates 7–9), and commitment clarity (dates 10–12). He stresses the importance of consistency, emotional availability, and avoiding low-effort behaviors like last-minute plans or failing to confirm dates. The hosts also reflect on their own experiences with dating, travel, and personal growth, weaving in humorous anecdotes about restaurant mishaps and airport encounters. The episode concludes with a powerful message: if someone truly wants to be in a relationship, they will act on it—exclusivity should not linger indefinitely, and labels like 'boyfriend' should come with intentionality and emotional investment.
Men often vet backwards—initial attraction is driven by lust and excitement, but deeper compatibility is assessed only after intimacy.
The first three dates should be spaced at one per week to build a reliable sample size of behavior and communication patterns.
Low-effort dating (e.g., coffee dates, last-minute plans) signals low interest and can be a red flag for women.
Consistent confirmation of plans and check-ins (e.g., 'Did you get home okay?') are bare-minimum signs of respect and care.
By the 12-week mark, couples should have clarity on their relationship status—exclusive should lead to 'boyfriend/girlfriend' within a month or two.
…and 2 more takeaways available in PodZeus
Welcome to New York & The Power of Holiday Greetings
The hosts kick off the episode in New York City, reflecting on their personal lives, travel plans, and the surprising joy of being greeted with 'Happy Easter' and 'Happy Passover'—even though they’re not religious. They explore how people lean into positivity during tough times, using holiday cheer as a form of emotional connection and resilience.
The Restaurant That Lied About Its Coffee & the Silent Sushi Omakase
Ashley shares a humorous story about a Wilmington restaurant that marketed its coffee as 'farm-to-table' while using K-cups—highlighting the disconnect between branding and reality. Raina recounts a silent, high-pressure sushi omakase dinner where she broke the ice by being loud and fun, saving the evening and turning strangers into friends.
Nico Emanuilidis Returns: The Psychology of Modern Dating
“Men vet backwards. The emotion of the lust, right? And the excitement is what's driving a man really early.”
The First Three Dates: Building a Foundation
“You want to see a guy is on his path. Our friend went out on a date with this guy. And she's a therapist, so she was questioning him. And she starts asking these questions. He excuses himself. He goes to the bathroom. He comes back. He is teary-eyed.”
Intimacy, Labels, and the 12-Week Framework
“If somebody wanted to lock it down, they would. Yes, they would lock it down. There's obviously, like, context and nuance to all of this. Sure. But, like, if somebody has been with you for three to four months and you're not sure if you're together, that's intense.”
“If somebody wanted to lock it down, they would. Yes, they would lock it down.”
“The real pandemic? The real pandemic is men who have been single for five years in New York City. They're feral.”
“Men vet backwards. The emotion of the lust, right? And the excitement is what's driving a man really early.”
Hosts
Guest
Ashley Hess
person
Raina Greenberg
person
Niko Emanuilidis
person
New York City
place
The Daddy Academy
brand
TikTok
other
FP Movement
brand
other
Liquid IV
brand
YouTube
other
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