Debra Soh on Why Men and Women Are Drifting Apart, Dating Apps, and Gen Z

In this three-part episode of The Michael Shermer Show, host Michael Shermer engages in a deep and timely conversation with Dr. Debra Soh, neuroscientist and author of *Sex Stinction: The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy*, about the growing crisis of sexual and emotional disconnection in Western societies. Soh identifies a widespread 'sex recession,' with alarming statistics showing that a significant portion of young adults—especially Gen Z and millennials—are experiencing a sharp decline in sexual activity. She attributes this not to individual apathy but to systemic forces: the pervasive influence of social media, pornography, AI companions, and the politicization of gender and sexuality. The discussion unpacks harmful myths like the '366 rule,' which sets unrealistic standards for men, and explores how young men are turning to pornography, OnlyFans, and AI girlfriends due to social rejection and lack of support. Meanwhile, young women face pressure to commodify their sexuality and are misled by the marketing of egg freezing and IVF as 'time-buying' solutions, despite their high costs, medical risks, and low success rates. The conversation also reveals troubling ethical breaches in fertility clinics and highlights how gendered inequities in domestic labor, divorce, and family court bias are driving both men and women away from marriage and parenthood. Soh emphasizes that the root of the crisis lies in the erosion of healthy intimacy models, fueled by online extremism, ideological polarization, and the replacement of human connection with transactional or technological substitutes. She draws parallels between the unchecked rise of social media and the current trajectory of reproductive technologies, urging society to learn from past mistakes. Despite the challenges, Soh remains cautiously optimistic, advocating for informed decision-making, scientific literacy, and accessible dialogue around intimacy. The episode concludes with a focus on the book’s mission: to provide evidence-based insights in formats that reduce stigma and encourage open conversation. Ultimately, the discussion paints a complex but hopeful picture of a generation grappling with profound changes in love, sex, and family, calling for empathy, education, and systemic reform to rebuild meaningful human connection.