Vault: Listeners Confess Their Strangest Habits

The Bert Show dives into the strange, often hilarious habits that make people feel 'normal'—even when they’re anything but. From a woman who jogs in a bathroom stall to hardcore rap music before a work presentation, to a man who imagines himself as a Disney World tram driver while navigating suburban streets, the episode reveals how deeply personal rituals can be. One caller turns a romantic gesture into a nightly role-play with his fiancée, reenacting Sleeping Beauty, while another folds his wet jeans before drying them, convinced it prevents wrinkles. Others include a woman who smells every fork before using it, a man who must sleep facing the door to avoid being kidnapped, and a woman who meticulously separates peanut M&Ms from their chocolate shells—eating only the peanut last. The show doesn’t judge; instead, it celebrates the quirky, private rituals that give people control, comfort, or joy in an unpredictable world. The real takeaway? Normality isn’t about conformity—it’s about consistency in your own weirdness.